Let me preface this post by saying that I LOVE me some grandmas. I have one living Granny and she is my flower-pressing, 36 flavor pound cake-baking, wouldn't-you-like-some-more-no?-well-here's-another-trough-full hero. You have met her before, here. My Ouma passed away a few years ago, and so my Oupa decided that it was finally time to tell us that she was a spy when they lived in South Africa. A spy! So now when I picture her pulling a turkey out of the oven, it's to the theme from Mission: Impossible. This makes grieving easier, trust me.
This convention I attended over the weekend was chock-a-block with grannies. Grannies complaining about the humidity in their rooms. Grannies with walkers. Grannies who didn't seem to "get" that there was a class going on and would call out a question in the loudest and most annoyed tone, as if the instructor had been ignoring them on purpose forever (grannus interruptus). Grannies (and editors of Vogue, I might add) in really awful crocheted shawls. In short, it was a bit of a Metamucil crowd.
But friends, have you noticed how we're tipping toward the crafts of days gone by? Log cabin, anyone? Warshrags? Granny squares, fergoddssake? I fully expect to be crocheting toilet paper covers within the next two years, and I think some of you will be right there with me. After all, what two demographics are most likely to be engaged in a conversation about fiber at any particular time? Yep. But is it really so bad?
Someday we'll all be clustering up the hallways at our own conventions, our white puffball hairdos floating along like dandelions in the spring breeze, complaining about the chairs (too soft), the mattress (too firm), the buffet (too eggy), and the younger crowd will tap into their crani-feeds and send thought-messages to their friends about how absolutely behind it all we all are, but we won't care. Because as one attendee said, "Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt and burned it." And after they all go to bed, I'll race ya down the hallways in my jet-powered chair, Gertrude. 'Cause the mattress is too firm anyway.
* Titles for the above photos: "Homework Swatches" and "All You Need to Know About the State of Delaware."
That is one cool Grandma/Ouma!
The one that bakes pound cake doesn't sound too bad either!
Posted by: Kirsten | July 17, 2006 at 01:20 PM
heh - great post! (actually, great postS - i've been away from the reading-of-blogs for the past week or so. i cracked up over the 'toilet paper covers' - my ex's mom decorated her ENTIRE HOUSE, doorknobs and all, in crocheted / macramed treats, made of that horrible squeaky Phentex stuff. oh, the horror.
Posted by: brenda in toronto | July 17, 2006 at 01:52 PM
let me know if you find a toilet paper doll cover pattern, won't you?
Posted by: kris | July 17, 2006 at 02:02 PM
LOL!
Nothing wrong with a little domestic kitsch if you ask me.
Besides, anyone who figures out a way to make toilet paper exciting is ok in my book :-)
Posted by: SpiderWomanKnits | July 17, 2006 at 05:43 PM
Walker-race ya to the buffet. Loser has to spring for the Metamucil.
Posted by: lorinda | July 17, 2006 at 07:29 PM
I fully intend to be the crazy cat lady at the end of the road. All the kids will be too freaked out by me to come Trick-or-Treating and my children/grandchildren will roll their eyes at my weirdness (I still won't have enough money to be considered eccentric).
My husband will be pitied down at the Legion (my Grandfather flew the mail plane in WWII so we'll get automatic memberships) where he goes to play darts and mutter with his cronies about rude young folk with no respect for their elders.
Idyllic, no?
Love that your Ouma was a cake baking spy. I wonder if any files or microfilms made it into some of her cakes.
Posted by: Dorothy B | July 17, 2006 at 09:55 PM
I think I have been a Grammy-in-training since the day I was born. I am already proficient!
ps. got a great kick out of the dandelions in the spring breeze
Posted by: ann | July 18, 2006 at 06:19 AM
i work in a hearing aid office and yesterday this old dude came in with his wife. when it was time for him to go into the exam room he stood up, took two steps and wham! his pants fell down to his ankles! there he was, in the middle of the office waiting room with his pants around his ankles and not steady enough to pick them up as his wife (mortified) is telling us he forgot his belt today...that story seems to encompass what aging is: downright hilarious and tragic at the same time...
Posted by: victoria | July 18, 2006 at 07:29 AM
Lil ol ladies are my favorite! (actually they are since I saw the producers the other day) - I'm glad you had some fun - and you got some great swatches - cool!
Posted by: Nicole | July 18, 2006 at 07:53 AM
You must've had the same lady in your class that I did. I took a teaching techniques class Thursday afternoon and some woman piped up with that saying.....been there, done that, bought the t-shirt and burned it.......ha! ha! (I don't think it was the instructor). Anyway....glad you had a good time. Thanks for the great blog!
Lisa
Posted by: Lisa | July 18, 2006 at 10:37 AM
I love the grandma story. I can just see myself like them when I get older. I just found your blog and I enjoy reading it.
Posted by: paula | July 19, 2006 at 07:33 AM
"grannus interruptus"...hee hee! Good one...
Posted by: Vicki | July 20, 2006 at 01:34 PM