Patient exhibits general lack of drive, sighing, and staring out of window at darkening winter sky. Patient avoids longstanding relationship with NPR due to high sensitivity to bad news. General despondancy. Ability to respond to email, blog consistently, knit, drink coffee, or say anything other than "NO" and "What in the world do you think you're doing?" to her students is minimal. Knitting production = one small hat.
Diagnosis One: Doldrums
Condition worsens. Patient unable to control sobbing over generous gifts from sweet friends. (Further info here.) Despite patient's sudden loss of appetite for almost all things, including sweet elixer of life (coffee), smoked salt caramels are consumed with rapidity. Stomachaches and extreme exhaustion have become routine, though nighttime sleep eludes patient. Urge to tape-record self leaving messages of hope to son, just in case of early demise, grows strong. Imagines what to wear in, "Hello, this is your mommy speaking" video. Too tired to cry about this. Contemplates visit to doctor, but terrified of what diagnosis will be. Is sure is wasting away.
Diagnosis Two: Sure as Shootin', Impending Death
Patient, fearing for life, describes symptoms to family members, friends, and co-workers, all of whom look at her strangely, most of whom keep mum. A few brave souls do venture the opinion, "You know....those sound like pregnancy symptoms." To which patient replies, with a hearty (or as hearty as possible, given rising nausea), "Oh, nooooo. I couldn't be pregnant. Couldn't be." Patient scoffs at the very thought. After all, no pregnancy is planned. Patient is, in fact, a bit apprehensive about diving back into the baby pool. So there's just no way this sudden need to nap every day at 1:00 and this avoidance of coffee and wine and inability to eat anything after 3:00 could mean pregnancy, no way. Plus, patient has no urge to knit tiny things. Instead is starting a Chevron Scarf, after all.
Diagnosis Three: Denial/Stupidity
Without going into too many details (a-hem), as it turned out, I'm not only pregnant, I'm way more pregnant than you'd think one would be when one realized she was pregnant. However, I'm still not out of the first trimester woods. In my defense, my pregnancy with the Biscuit was totally symptom-free, so I had no idea what being pregnant really feels like. Just a couple more weeks to go, and then I'll get that fabled second trimester energy infusion. I'm really counting on it. Because I do miss all of you. And I guess I've got a lot of knitting to do... Thanks to all of you who checked in- it's nice to be missed.
* Alternate post title: "Oh, so THAT's what a napping blog looks like..."