As newly self-appointed Mayor of Bootietown, I hope to govern benevolently, wisely, and with an ideology of folksy righteousness*. My reign term will be one of defensive posturing cronyism despair prosperity for all who have the glorious right to call themselves Bootietown patriots. I believe it is our inalienable right to buy entire hanks of sock yarn just to use 25 grams, to own countless books of sweater patterns we never intend to make, and to litter the couch cushions with tiny, sharp needles. Shivering sheep, acres of forest, and tender undercarriages of loved ones be damned are precious natural resources and we should work to exploit deplete utilize them as we, in our tunnel vision superior wisdom, see fit!
As fellow Bootietown citizens, you know that there are those who would oppose us. Those who hate our freedom. With the fire of seven suns and the volume of eight Dixie Chicks albums turned up to "eleven," they hate our freedom. With complicated lace nightgowns knit in cobweb-weight thread, they spit on our freedom. With teeth clenched over lace-edged sweatpants with knitted-in lining worked on double-pointed needles, they gypsy-curse our freedom. They crush the head of our freedom between their arthritic fingers, made claws through miles of mercerized cotton stockinette baby blankets. But they will not prevail. Two-hour projects for all some a few chosen ones folks!
Having made this proclamation, I return to my desk to spy on you play solitaire threaten vetoes bail out the twins draft some seriously awesome legislation. Be ever paranoid fear-ridden vigilant, citizens y'all!
*Naturally, as a born-again Bootiean, all past transgressions of mine are no longer up for discussion. Tabula rasa, my dear citizens. You have a problem with my past pecadillos, take it up with the Great Bootie-sattva in my pocket the Sky.
Power to the people!
Posted by: lola | April 04, 2007 at 01:05 PM
I have to admit that I'm not a citizen of Bootietown. However, I am hoping to soon be a tourist in your fair domain. My good friend (herself a native of Soakerville) is expecting, and I intend to bring her souvenirs of my trip.
Posted by: Kristy | April 04, 2007 at 02:23 PM
I have to ask... the wee socks in the middle look awfully familiar. Are they my free pattern?
Posted by: Miriam | April 04, 2007 at 02:43 PM
I need to visit Bootietown, I am one of those that are stuck making larger garments, much to my chagrin, and none of them even fit me...humpf.
P.S.
Love the booties!
Posted by: So Much Fun | April 04, 2007 at 02:46 PM
I may be moving there soon. One bootie done (from KFB) and have to knit the other one this weekend...the baby is due next week! :)
Posted by: brooke | April 04, 2007 at 03:50 PM
I pledge my allegiance.
Finally a movement I can get behind!;)
Posted by: Heather | April 04, 2007 at 04:20 PM
Oooh, the google searches that will be leading to your blog.....
Posted by: Kelly | April 04, 2007 at 04:40 PM
Right on, Miss Frick!
Posted by: jillian | April 04, 2007 at 04:43 PM
Well, as the self-proclaimed mayor of Miterelphia, I clocked in a miter at 1 hr 15 min today. Take that Bootieville! Take that!
Posted by: Cara | April 04, 2007 at 04:52 PM
LOVE the booties!
Posted by: Melissa | April 04, 2007 at 04:53 PM
You know, when it comes down to it, it's all about the bootie. You are on such a roll! All those adorable booties look like candy!
Posted by: Maritza | April 04, 2007 at 04:54 PM
Apparently, I want to be a Bootiean as well, what with all the single hanks of Koigu I have acquired recently. What else is one to do with a single hank of sock yarn goodness?
Posted by: nova | April 04, 2007 at 06:06 PM
Preach it sister. You are a factory!
Posted by: Ashley | April 04, 2007 at 06:27 PM
Cute!
Posted by: Miss T | April 04, 2007 at 06:33 PM
Hilarious! And very well written.
Posted by: Miss Scarlett | April 04, 2007 at 06:53 PM
Cuteness reigns in bootietown!
Posted by: Holly of HollYarns | April 04, 2007 at 08:03 PM
You're hilarious. Totally freaking hilarious.
Posted by: Liz K. | April 05, 2007 at 05:43 AM
We are rising from the stashes..err Ashes.
The revolution is near.
I raise my needles & koigu in support.
Power to the People.
Power to Bootiean's!
Posted by: Susan | April 05, 2007 at 08:12 AM
fantastic use of strike-through font as a tool of social commentary - I love it!
Posted by: Susie | April 05, 2007 at 08:42 AM
You made me giggle. Actually, a lot. Yay!
Posted by: Cornflake | April 05, 2007 at 10:18 AM
You are the best! Love the booties! As you probably know from looking at my Flickr photos, I am also a fan of the quick knitting projects. Thanks for introducing me to yet another fun option. Looking forward to seeing more fun projects and reading your oh-so-entertaining posts.
Posted by: Haley | April 05, 2007 at 12:06 PM
heh - i belong to a different Bootietown - it's spelled Bootytown!!
Possibly-dumb question: are the bottoms of those platform booties stuffed with something?
Posted by: brenda in toronto | April 05, 2007 at 12:53 PM
Awesome. That's all.
Posted by: Christy / Not Hip | April 05, 2007 at 06:24 PM
Bootie-sattva. Heh!
Ditto what Susie said about clever social commentary. Double heh, Your Honor!
Posted by: Karen B. | April 05, 2007 at 08:26 PM
Cute, Cute, Cute!
Posted by: Robin | April 05, 2007 at 08:46 PM