Our Dirty Little Secret

Has this happened to you?  You're trying to explain to a non-blogger (much less a non-knitter) where you got your beautiful bootie yarn, or or about why you're suddenly so into camels, or the crazy coincidence of just having bought a new kind of ice cream for your sister and then later that same day reading about how it goes much better with biscuits...and you come up against that wall of a phrase, "This friend I met on the Internet."  And then they look at you and they imagine a seedy motel in Paducah, where that video store clerk you met online awaits with a bottle of cheap bubbly for you to leave your husband and children and Away With Him to a new and exciting life.  "This friend I met on the Internet."  Hello?  Lifetime Televison?  I've got a movie pitch for you.

My most recent encounter with this phenomenon came when I went to visit my sister in the hospital and brought her (as all new mothers should be brought) some fancy soap for her first postpartum shower.  Jess loved it and took in all its herby goodness and the sweet owl on the wrapper with appreciation as I hemmed and hawed away about how it was made by this woman I know, well, from the Internet, well, I met her through the blog, and she makes this incredible soap, and she's a knitter, but I've never really met her, just through the Internet, and well...  And finally it hit me.  Why the heck was I putting myself through all of this when I could just say, "A friend of mine made it"?  So that's what I did.

And my friend Maryse just gave me my new favorite word.  And my friend Cathi (a MILF indeed) sent me a link to Tori Amos's new video, because she knew how much I needed it.  And my friend Ashley introduced me to the phrase, "heteronormative gender fascists" which I think would make a great band name.  And the talented Maritza tagged me with a Thinking Blogger Award to pass on. And that's just to name a few. Friend, friend, friend.  Say it with me now, and drop the whole  "Internet" thing.  Don't it feel good?

And I really needed my friends this week- even if they didn't know it.  On top of the heartbreak in Blacksburg, we had difficult news from my doctor about the Fricklet, which resulted in some scary tests (needles as long as your arm!), much loss of sleep, and a wait that, had it been minutes instead of days, would still have been too long.  Yesterday we found out that all is well.  Just another case of modern medicine's commitment to giving every woman in the world an anxiety disorder.

Tonight I plan to retreat to the bath to soak off the tears and sighs and pains of this week and replace them with lavender and rose petals and skin-softening oatmealy goodness.  Megan, take me away!

Thanks, friends, for keeping me afloat.

Comments

[Jen]

Oh, yikes, I hate scary tests--sorry about the big needles and the agonizing wait. I'm so glad all is well with the Fricklet.

And here's to friends, just friends.

[Haley]

Glad to hear all is well with the sweet little Fricklet. I'm sure you and Mr. Frick were both on pins and needles (pun unintended) waiting for the news. I sometimes think we were all better off before they had all the ultrasounds and other tests they do these days during pregnancies. Anyway, I'm glad all turned out okay and that you had support from all your friends. I'm still so grateful for Walter who accidentally introduced me to Fricknits through his comment on Wayne's New York. Thank you for introducing me to so many other great people like Ashley and Maritza. Sending many hugs your way.

[Kate]

Your comment about medicine's commitment to giving every woman an anxiety disorder rings so true :)

Glad to hear all is well!

I've given up feeling the need to explain blogs, friends through blogs, friends through knitting blogs, etc. Friends is good enough.

[Adam]

Good to hear that Fricklet is alright! Sometimes it seems that modern medicine causes more headaches than cures...

And I'm constantly being given those looks by non-knitters/non-bloggers when I mention my "friends from blogs". I think my family is the only group of people who aren't freaked out by it anymore...but many other people I know just think I'm totally crazy!

They just don't know what they're missing out on, IMO :)

[reluctantmango]

Oh my! I'm glad everything is ok... big scary needles have become a somewhat frequent thing for me (though not quite the length of my arm), and they stress me out like nothing else in this world. You deserve a long soak!

[Kristy]

Clever way of passing on the Thinking Blogger award! I didn't know about a couple of those blogs... thanks!

I'm glad to hear that everything with the Fricklet ended up OK. If only they could sneak those tests in without scaring you with the worst outcome. Although I imagine the arm-length needle would have given it away anyway.

[Kelly]

Oh, my. Big happy sigh of relief that all is well. Sending a large bunch of (virtual) tulips your way...

[Lori]

So glad the Fricklet is ok.
I just had the exact same conversation about the exact same soap maker. I gave a co-worker a bar of the soap with all sorts of accolades and, of course, everyone wanted to know where it came from and I finally just said, "Oh, a friend of mine sells it online!"

[pamela wynne]

What a lovely post about what "friends" means.

Take care, and keep sticking it to the heteronormative fascist asshats. :)

[inky]

you deserve bathly goodness, and so does baby-in-waiting.

[Cara]

Big sigh of relief...and a nice big hug.

[grumperina]

And to this I say, amen! And it is the reason I address my readers, "my friends." Because I know more about knitters who live in California and Australia and Finland than about my own family 3 hours away. My. Friends.

[miss ewe]

I completely understand about "my knitting friend from the internet...". I'm so glad to hear that the fricklet is okay. Big hugs your way.

[Maritza]

I am so happy to hear that everything is alright with the Fricklet.

It's so funny, I totally feel the same way when speaking to my non-blogging friends about people. I stopped referring to people as "my friend so-and-so from the internet" and just started saying "my friend so-and-so" only to have whoever I am speaking to ask, "Is that a blogging buddy?" Yes, that's one of my blogging buddies. They're my friends, too.

Have a wonderful bath tonight. (That Megan does cook up the most heavenly bath treats.)

[Heather]

Yes, I am so familiar with what you're talking about. Somehow using the word 'blogging friend' makes you seem instantly pathetic and lame...

Also, this: Tori will do you right every time, that's what she's there for. Glad that Littles is in good health.

[Sue]

I was a bit worried there when I read about you having a few tests, but thank goodness the Fricklet is healthy and well, and you are too. I have not told my family about my blog, but I do tell them about people I have met through the internet, not personally of course, and I do consider them my friends even if they do live all over the world. I think this community of knit and craft bloggers is just wonderful, and some people do not understand it, so your idea is the best one yet to explain pressies received. I have loved meeting new people through my craft blog and it does feel as though you really do know them, and the support is always wonderful too. Hope you have a nice relaxing day.

[kmkat]

I sent "heteronormative gender fascists" to my college son, who has a final paper due Thursday in his gender studies class. I thought it would make a nice impression :) and he loves him a good phrase. Thanks to you and Ashley for bringing it to my attention.

[maryse]

since my blog is a secret from my non-blogging friends pretty much (except for a couple of exceptions) i refer to my blogging friends as my knitting buddies. but i like that you've included me in your "friends"

and i'm very happy that all is well with the fricklet (do you know if it's a girl or boy?)

[lola]

I've only told one non-blog/non-knitter about the blog. I felt like I was telling her I was in porn!

Glad to hear you have good news. We had a similar experience while I was preggers with Gus. Test, followed by another test, and then more waiting. If the results are that flawed, why offer the test to begin with?!

[SpiderWomanKnits]

So glad to hear everyone is alright.

My cousin, who is due with her first child the same day I am with my second, was told that her baby might have Downs. Then they made her wait two weeks for a specialist. It was horrible and turned out to be nothing more than an alarmist doctor.

It's such a shame that pregnancy and birthing have become (in a lot of practices) a medical condition/liability rather than a natural process.

[Kelly]

I'm so glad to hear that all is well with your little one--those kind of scares take time off of an already short life!

[nova]

I am so glad to hear that the Fricklet is okay. Dirty little secret indeed. Oh, the power that is Tori Amos. I like her; and, I like you, friend.

[Lynn in Tucson]

Oh, my! The heteronormative gender fascists link was too much! And we play the band name game, too!
Glad to hear all is well. Pregnancy-realted anxiety just sucks.
Breathe on.

[brooke]

Sounds like Megan's spa treatment is the perfect solution to wash away some stressful days-so glad to hear the Fricklet is okay.

[Brenda]

I'm glad the tests all turned out OK. Megan's soaps and creams are wonderful!

I totally agree with your opinions on internet friends being real friends that we shouldn't have to rationalize. Having said that, my husband's cousin did become "addicted" to the internet and ran off with a man she met on line to have his baby, abandoning her husband and two sons at home (she was an RN before the addiction). So the Lifetime movie does sometimes happen in the real world.