My Stash is a Humvee

I once had what I thought was a brilliant idea.  After having sat in traffic for an hour only to discover that the cause was not road work or a higher-than-usual flow of cars, but people slowing down to gawk at a minor fender bender alongside the road, I invented, in my mind, a flexible, lightweight screen that state police could pop up around an accident to shield the unfortunates from our prying eyes while keeping traffic moving at a decent pace.  And after so brazenly inviting you all to come view the stash the other day, how I wish such a screen existed in the virtual world.  Because I'm sitting here alone in the house with camera, laptop, and baskets, bags, Ikea Elfa Systems full of yarn, and I'm really starting to feel like I've been hit by a woolen Mac Truck.

Now, entire books have been devoted to the notion of taking pride in one's yarn habit- to stash celebration.  Stash overflow?  Use the freezer!  Arms of out-of-season coats!  Kitchen cabinets!  Trunk of the car!  It's art!  It's creative potential!  At least it's not Hummels/toenail clippings/guinea pigs!  Usually I'm in agreement.  I'm laughing right along, raising my supersize Ziploc bags in salute.  But today, with hours to myself to photograph and catalog the stash over on Ravelry, I fear my stash...just...sickens me. I am a Prius person, but my stash is a Humvee.

It's such an odd thing to be writing this, because generally we seem to be a pretty glass half full bunch when it comes to all things knitting.  Sure, we complain about patterns, gauge woes, and ugly designs, but I feel like I'm committing some sort of faux pas when I say that I'm ashamed of the stash.  In my defense (of course there is one), much of this- especially the Rowan- was purchased before I knew what the hell I was doing.  I was buying for color, mostly, with no sense of how much I'd need for a project or whether or not I'd want to knit an entire sweater on size 2 needles (I don't).  And then there's the fact that I have a horrible memory, which has caused me many times over to buy yarn for a project because I don't realize that I have something wonderful for it already.  I hope this exercise in looking the stash square in its beady little eyes will keep me from doing that ever again.  Actually, I hope this keeps me from buying yarn for a couple of years.  Seriously.

I briefly considered taking the belligerent attitude that is my birthright as an American and making up a bumper sticker that reads, "My Stash Beats Up Your Stash and Takes Its Lunch Money," or challenging you all to a stash smackdown (seriously, though- any takers??), but the creeping dread was too much for me.  So there will be a stash sale soon, and there will be giving away of yarn to friends and family and contest winners.  Speaking of which (drumroll please)...

It was Mr. E, third from the right, who ordered up the cargos and asked to learn to knit.  (And he'd like you all to know that he wears a 30W, 30L).  It was Mr. W, on the far left, who endured the kiss, which really was a chivalrous move, as it seemed Lower East Side Jewels had me in his sights at first.  (Mr. W, by the way, is the one who took my favorite photo and has his own NYC photoblog.  Go visit!)  It was so much fun receiving emails from them as the comments came in, though we may have to do a little work to deflate Mr. C's head.  (I want to smooch him, too.)  So in the spirit of stash reduction, I'm going ahead and award all four of you who guessed correctly.  So Stella, Christy, Kristy, and Ruth- heads up! I'm shooting you an email!

And in great news, I just found out that my best friend, who is due in the same week as I am, is having a girl!  Anouk, here I come.  Yes, I already have the yarn.

Comments

[Elinor]

Yeah, I've been watching my Ravelry Friends' Activity feed climb... all FrickStash. :-)

[kate]

I'm starting to catalog my stash for ravelry too & it's a litle embarassing. But mine too was purchased before I knew what I was doing - random balls here & there have all built up. I could do without buying yarn for a few years too.

[Heather]

We've already communicated about the whole stash thing--I know, I am feeling your pain right along side you, as mine is making me feel like a glutton and a bad person. What does Mr. Frick think? Weirdly my hyper-frugal husband doesn't judge me about it as I think he thinks that this is just what knitters do...and that Rowan comment as too damn funny. At least you know you'll always have some yarn to make a hair shirt with!

[Ashley]

I'm afraid to start cataloging, cause it'll be icky. How's this for a preemptive strike: my mom offered to buy me yarn this weekend--any yarn I wanted! In a store dripping with Rowan!--and I said no. Can you believe it?

[reluctantmango]

Oooh, still waiting for a Ravelry invite, you all are making me impatient!!

How brave of you to confront your stash... I have it all tucked away, and to see it all laid out would undoubtedly be a shock :)

[BethC]

Hmmm... perhaps all my future shopping should be at your house. Although I fear what I may find when I start organizing and find all my stash stashes.

[kelp!]

Oh, I have been coveting your stash all weekend via your Ravelry activity. All that delicious Rowan! I completely understand the yarn aquisitions before knowledge, I have a few of those in my stash, too. Although mine seem much worse than yours - the oodles of 80-yard-per-skein of thick and thin yarn send shudders down my spine to this day.

[nikki]

Oh the stash. The stash. I go to crochet class at the adult ed center with a granny friend on Monday nights. I'm thinking (hoping, really) that the gals there might be interested in some free yarn that I want to be free from.

[isel]

That is some stash over at Flickr and everything is GOOD.
REALLY good.

Oh, Anouk is going to be beautiful in those colors. :D

[Karen B.]

I understand your feeling of shame and gluttony - as though, somehow, enough is never *enough*.

At this point, I see it but am blind to it at the same time. Inexplicably, I continue to buy yarn even though my ability to knit has been compromised by physical issues.

[Christy / Not Hip]

Well, after looking at your Flickr, I know better than to challenge you to a stash smackdown....your stash would totally kick my stash's ass. However, I am glad that I can help you alleviate some of the weight of it ;)

[Lara]

One of my best friends is due the same week I am, and we both want girls. Too early to tell yet, and I don't want to tempt fate by buying the yarn yet, but I hope to see an Anouk in my future too!

[Katherine]

You do have a beautiful stash. I won't say a word about the size though because I'm discovering those same feelings of shame. I was in denial about the Rubbermaid container in the back of my closet, but really I've got yarn all over the house. (Although not in any coat sleeves. Yet.)

[tigerlilith]

ah yes, the stash...
i'm feeling stressed about mine at the moment as well, not because it's hugely enormous (although it is pretty big) but because 80% of it has already been "planned for" - i've got a huge stash of projects-to-be & i can't knit fast enough to keep up with them all!! :) & even with that, i just bought a big pile of scottish tweed chunky (ah, the rowan). it's not yarn stash, it's a sweater that requires some assembly...

[amisha]

i feel the same way!! when i sorted through my stash last year i was really really shocked. since then i have bought yarn for one sweater from elann, but there is nothing like a stash sort-out to make you realize (at least it made me realize) that i really, really don't need any more yarn. i could knit for the next 3 years, easy, on the yarn that i have. it is pretty intense. (loved the idea of being a prius person with a humvee stash... yes!)

[pamela wynne]

Ah, I know exactly what you mean about the stash ambivalence! I really, really identified with the post. I tried to manage my own inner stash turmoil by declaring an end to the purchase of new oil-based yarns ... it feels more responsible and all, but then again, I wasn't buying all that much acrylic to begin with...

[Stella]

Woohoo! Thank you! That Mr. E just looks so earnest and excited about life, and Mr. W looks the sort that might not kick your ass for kissing him unexpectedly in public, so if I were one to do such I thing, he might be my target too. :)

The thing that is mind boggling for me is that my so-called stash takes up one large tupperware, which to my girlfriend is a huge amount of yarn, but we can probably all attest to that not actually being nearly enough to allow me to knit from what I have with any consistency. My standards for what "a lot of yarn" means have shifted dramatically.

[Romi]

So the moral to the stash story is: don't ever take it out to photograph again. Ignorance is bliss! ;)

[Corvus]

Ooo, Ravelry sounds fun and handy. Cannot wait for it to open up.

And I understand your stash-shame, even though I don't have much of a stash. The bigger it gets, the more I think "If I love it so much, why am I stashing it rather than freaking knitting already?"

[kimchi]

oh yes, my stash would equate to a humvee as well. and it's gotten to that point quite quickly--just in the past few months really. :o)
and i love that cupcake foto--i'll make sure to frequent his photoblog!

[Kirsten]

Yeah, I know how you feel. I am becoming equally troubled by my stash.

Have fun knitting the cute little Anouk!

[nova]

I don't know, my stash might be able to take yours in a smack down. I spent way too much time photographing my stash--it's still in need of cataloging (which is an activity I usually love, but I am a little scared of the crazy that is my "stash"). After pulling it all out and then listing it all, I felt a little sick. Getting gift certificates (for yarn) over the weekend didn't help either. The archivist in me wants to keep it all. The records manager in me wants to get rid of some stuff...The archivist usually wins--and she is usually out trolling for more donations to the cause of crazy.

[Kristy]

Yeah, after knitting for a year and a half, I think I'm finally figuring out what should go in my stash and what should not. I think I'm at the 15-year-old BMW status. It could be argued that it's luxury, but it's not all that good for the environment yet :)

[Sarah]

I've been scoping out your gorgeous stash on both Flickr and Ravelry. You've got some lovely stuff, and your pictures make it all look soooooo yummy. I think we all have stash anxiety from time to time. I had a bit of a freak out over the weekend when I was unpacking the yarn stash in our new place and realized I have enough sock yarn for over 52 pairs of socks. I just about fainted when I saw it all there, staring at me in the cold, hard light of day. I know other knitters may scoff at that, but I've only been buying sock yarn since August of 2006. It's time to start using it up and quit buying more.

[Cathi]

I think everyone has their own personal comfort level-there's no reason that you should feel like you have to justify yours, or feel guilty for it, if it is something that you feel ok about....and, you know, if you really don't want it, there is the Destash blog, or local charities that would be happy to accept it.