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Your knitting on the fish appears to be absolutely flawless. You could mail it to me and I'd seam it and (eventually) mail it back. The last part would seriously be the hardest for me, a woman who lives three blocks from probably the best post office in town.

The fan obsession is quite cute from a distance. Maybe you could mail him out here for a bit as well.

Lynn in Tucson

Aaaah.... I don't know what to say, except that it does get better (and I don't know how many times I've come home to find the husband sound asleep and the child running circles around him, WHY don't they get tired?????).
FWIW, I've had a resurgence of mother guilt (thought it went away, eventually) about the fact that I'm NOT a summertime SAHM. Seems like all the child's best pre-school friends are home for the summer and I feel like I've cast her to the wolves.
But I'll get over it. I think the home-all-day would do me in after a bit.
Hang in there!


LL hangs out at the water features with her mouth open. Oh, and toddlers are assholes a lot. It's a known fact.


My nephew is obsessed with the ceiling fan? What's up with the ceiling fan? It's really nott hat interesting--and yet, baby/little kid crack.

Send me the fish. I'll seam the fish.


Yeah, we've got a ceiling-fan obsessed little guy here too. So that doesn't go away, hunh?


Thank god I wasn't drinking anything when I read this; it would have come out my nose. You crack me up. I think the asshole line was the one that sent me over the edge! ha!


I can't stop laughing! I swear some are little devils.


That was, by far, the BEST post I have read yet. I was laughing out loud through the entire thing.

Now, I know it won't make you feel better, but we have all been there.

You have a such wonderful sense of humor.


Yes, assholes they can be, either girls or boys. My daughter wanted to be a temper tantrum one today after not going to sleep until 11:30pm last night, due to having a sleepover with her cousin, and a party today. I myself will be crawling into bed to go to sleep too, and hopefully will get to have a sleep in. I swear that small children have batteries inside that never run out. I love the toy you are knitting for the baby too, so cute and the colors look perfect. I hope you get some much needed nap time tomorrow.


Hang in there:) They do grow up!


Oh, is THAT what I have to look forward to? Super! :) My 4 yo nephew is currently enjoying the asshole stage, much to the dismay of his 1 yo brother. This too shall pass, my mother (who raised FOUR of us!) keeps saying.


I have TOTALLY dropped the Kraft Dinner (as it is called here in Canada) cheese packet into boiling water . . . and I'm not a busy Mom, just an absent minded gal. I was pleasantly surprised when the contents of the packet came out dry. Kraft is so brilliant.


You give me great hope for Motherhood. Thank you!


i have a 3.5 year old nephew is definitely an asshole. thing is, everyone but his parents realize it. so i'm afraid it might not just be a phase.

i'm sorry things have been a little trying for you lately.


Oh, hang in there! The fan obsession passes in time, but not before you think about testing the ceiling fan for its weight capacity. And the "asshole" thing is common (as is the "bitch" phase for little girls). Could be worse: the girls spent 90 minutes sobbing, big heaping gulping sobs, about how the Harry Potter Movie-a-thon was ruined by one boyfriend being there and the other's not. UGH!

Mac and Cheese must have an R&D facility in which they thrown frazzled mothers at the boxes. It is wonderful!


Oh, I love this post. It is such a refreshing jolt of reality in the face of the oh-my-child-is-so-sweet-I-love-him/her-so posts in other momblogs. Yeah, of course we all love our kids to death, but not every minute of the day and not every minute of those growing-up years. If they weren't occasionally so darned cute the survival of the species would be threatened.

The "Well, maybe he is just an asshole" sentiment totally cracked me up. Kudos to Mr. Frick, and kudos to you for not hanging Biscuit by his toenails -- yet ;)


Not that bribery is my favorite parenting technique (it's only used on days ending in y) but maybe you could get one of those handheld fans that have rubber blades and are worn around the neck? He could have one while laying in his big boy bed? They have those super fancy ones that spell things....I know they have some at the Di$ney store.


LS is a fan-atic as well...I am convinced the kid will lose fingers. Is the big boy bed a toddler bed or a true big boy bed? Good luck with the transition...I a not looking forward to a the use of a child's sleeping mechanism that can not be considered a cage as well.


Your post today was so funny...and it very close to home. Oh, here's how baseball = sex. Seattle Mariner's first baseman, Richie Sexson. His nickname is "The Big Sexy" and yup....he is.

brenda in toronto

"Well, maybe he's just an asshole" = snorting beverage out my nose!! Ah J, thanks for the laugh - I was having a shit day!


I think it's good that we work for many more months than we are home... Bunny said yesterday, "I miss extended day." Clearly too much mom time (and he's in camp!)


I have the opposite problem ... I'm feeling like the kids are all up in MY business all the time, and am aching for a little space. Which I will get when B takes them to visit his parents next month. My MIL is worried about me being home alone by myself for FIVE.WHOLE.DAYS, to which I say, "Thank you so much for worrying about me," while thinking, "are you kidding?!?"


It will get better, just keep saying that. The power of positive thinking and all that. But honestly - Mr. Fricks comment - I nearly snorked coffee out my nose I was laughing so hard.


wow. that's some bullet points you got there. sorry the biscuit is causing you stress!! i'm so intrigued by the fan obsession... windshield wipers?

and i too thought it was "making love like a fool, boy" but the right lyrics sounds fine too ;-)


My cousin has twin boys who are now 6. they've been obsessed with ceiling fans as long as i can remember. for a treat, she used to take them to home depot to look at the fans. whenever they enter a new house, they immediately go around looking at all the fans. they can then tell you how many fans are in the house and how many blades are on each fan. by three, they also could tell you which president was on each of the US coins. hey, everybody has their own thing!

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