Those are what is getting me through the day. Not that things are bad here- I know how incredibly lucky I am. But there is the sleeplessness. (This is the two-to-three week growth spurt, right??? Tell me it is.) And there is the laundry. (Though the house still manages to smell like sour milk and how in the heck many burp cloths can we possibly go through in a day? This kid's a geyser.) And there is the nursing pain. Look away if you're squeamish. (No, I'm not going to show you photos. But still, I'm a bit...chewed.) Which is where the Humor comes in. The other night as I was wincing my way through a latch-on, wearing what I affectionately call my tutu, the following scenario:
Me: I don't get it. I did this for 13 months with the Biscuit. How can I be so bad at something I've already done for that long?
Mr. Frick, without missing a beat: Well, our President's been at his job for six years. So there you go.
...and then he added... I hope that's going on the blog.
And then there's the Wisdom and camaraderie and just plain, "Yeah, I know" that you guys shared with me after my last post. I've been reading your comments and emails to Mr. Frick (who is very nice about all the weeping) and going over them in my mind and heart. As one very wise friend, Abi, put it, I've experienced a loss, as odd as it seems at this time of great gain, when we lose something, we grieve. It really helps to know how universal this experience is, so thank you.
My three-part program for dealing with my sadness has been to:
1. Write him a letter for the last page of his as-yet-to-be-assembled baby book, telling him my thoughts at this time of his becoming a Big Brother. This was extremely therapeutic. I highly recommend it.
2. Marry a SuperDad who comes equipped with an army of handsome "uncles" (scroll down) for the Biscuit who have submitted themselves to the sprinkler, become adept at "let's play farm," introduced him to Redskins fan-dom, and basically surrounded him with wonderful role models and love.
3. The magic word: Grandparents.
Oh, and the baby feet. Seen enough? How about one more before I go. There's laundry to do, after all.
(PS- You've seen all of these socks before. No FO's here, no siree. Except for the blue ones third from the top. Nova made those! Thanks, Nova!)
Well, we may have seen these socks before but not being modeled by the adorable fricklet!
I'm enjoying your baby posts - even though I've been through it all 4 times, I miss it and I've forgotten the hardship at times. I'm not saying that I'm enjoying that you have to go through it. My sympathies there!
Mr. Frick's comment - haha! For you - have you tried 2nd skin or teabags for the "chewed" parts of you? It seemed to help a lot for me.
Posted by: tiennie | October 13, 2007 at 10:49 AM
I found breastfeeding my first very easy but the second was extremely difficult. I had continuously cracked nipples for at least four months.
Lansinoh is expensive but very good. There was no real solution in my case except perseverance and time.
Posted by: Emma in France | October 13, 2007 at 11:20 AM
One thing I've realized as a mother of two is that my first had something special. He may not remember all the time we had just the two of us, but I do. And I cherish it. Now it's "us" and I love that, too. But I do think that my daughter does get some time with just me now that my son is in pre-k. We have a different bond, different alone time, but it's there and she's not so deprived as I once thought she might be. I think it all works out and there'll come a time very soon when it all works smoothly. I hope the breast feeding gets better. Lanolin worked well for me. And do baby feet (especially those in knitted socks) ever get old? :0)
Posted by: Robyn | October 13, 2007 at 11:25 AM
Oh my Julia. I'm sorry that you are having such pain. I, too, was surprised at how much pain I was in nursing our daughter, after nursing our son for 15 months. I called a private lactation consultant and she really helped. She explained, and it was the start of my true understanding of this, that each and every child is different, which means they are going to each have a different suck or suction or what-have-you. It was after we saw blood (mine) in my daughter's stool that I had to call the LC--no longer was it just me who was being affected by our toe-curling nursing relationship. Anyway, it was the best thing I did with her when she was so little.
enjoy, and do give yourself a break. sounds like you have surrounded yourself with wonderful people, and that is so important.
Posted by: Jen | October 13, 2007 at 11:34 AM
Those tiny, festooned feet are a pure delight!
I'm sure I'm not the first to recommend it, but bag balm really worked well for me.
Posted by: Heather | October 13, 2007 at 12:16 PM
Oh, thank you for all the sweet baby pics. He's so yummy! Love all the lil' socks.
And Mr. Frick is so right with his comment about Bush. Which is both hilarious, and very, very sad.
Hope things get better with the bf'ing soon!
Posted by: earthchick | October 13, 2007 at 12:53 PM
Oh, the boobie pain. I remember it so well. Even if you've nursed a wee one before, it always seems to come back. But the pain does go away. Every time. My midwife suggests going (or at the very least sleeping) topless as much as possible to help the healing go quicker. Theres nothing worse for healing than perpetually soggy nips, for sure. Just remember as Fricklets wee mouth grows, he'll be able latch on better. That seems to help a lot. xoxo
Posted by: nikki | October 13, 2007 at 12:59 PM
Hi Julie, I loved reading your post. It reminded me of myself at that time in my life. Indeed, ties that bind all parents together, our common ground is so valuable. I used to be a lactation consultant and I would highly recommend a consultation if there's one in your area. I promise, it will be the best investment that you've made. In the meantime, try this! You may be breastfeeding the new baby the same way that you nursed your son in his toddlerhood. Make sure of these things: Keep the baby off your lap, turn him completely facing you. Think of it this way: Bring the baby to the breast, not the other way around. Forget the rooting reflex.If the baby is really facing you, rooting isn't needed. Make him open wide. If he doesn't open wide, keep tickling his lower lip until he does.You can do this when it's not feeding time to see how wide he can open. Keep your fingers away from the nipple and use your hand to support the breast. The whole thing hinges on his tongue covering his lower gums because this is the part of his mouth that moves up and down. The top gum stays pretty stationary. Best wishes to all of you and thanks to your husband for the Bush line.I loved it!
Posted by: Cheryl | October 13, 2007 at 01:12 PM
she cute skinny baby legs. i remember when my daughter was born how we thought that they would stay skinny forever.. how wrong we were :)
Posted by: gleek | October 13, 2007 at 01:41 PM
I'm blown away by how cute the Fricklet is. The fourth picture from the top is my favorite. I hope that when I have kiddos they can have half as well-dressed feet! =)
Posted by: ashpags | October 13, 2007 at 01:51 PM
This too, shall pass ;) Definitely well coiffed feet!
Posted by: Carol | October 13, 2007 at 02:06 PM
Baby knits always look so much more adorable when a gorgeous baby is wearing them. Your little boy looks so sweet and adorable. I am sure that your big boy will adjust quite well to having a little brother too.
Posted by: Sue | October 13, 2007 at 06:15 PM
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/basics/latch-resources.html
This site may help. :) Congrats on the little one, the socks and booties are great!
Posted by: Karen | October 13, 2007 at 07:23 PM
I winced a little when you said "chewed on". Sorry about the pain.
The bootie pictures alone will make any woman ovulate. Give us the run down, how well do the booties stay on those itty feet?
Posted by: lola | October 13, 2007 at 08:04 PM
Hang in there! I can't imagine how hard it is with two little ones...
Btw, the only things cuter than baby feet are baby feet in handknits!
Posted by: Alice | October 13, 2007 at 08:12 PM
Ouch, I hope things get better soon. And everyone is right, those socks are so much sweeter when modeled by a Fricklet.
Posted by: diana | October 14, 2007 at 02:43 AM
Oh, the feet! How cute can they be? I'm having a hard time keeping the WoolyBabe's feet out of my mouth ... those little toes are just so yummy. This is probably because she doesn't have anywhere near as many cute socks as the Fricklet. Perhaps I should do something about that. Or I could sleep. Which may be more valuable at this point.
As for the nursing pain, I am there with you. For me it's primarily on one side ... I'm hoping it isn't yeast, and that it will go away soon, sooner, soonest. I don't remember it hurting for this long with any of the others ....
Posted by: Ruth | October 14, 2007 at 11:08 AM
Mr Frick rules. Also, OW.
Re: the lactation consultants, make sure you're comfortable with the one you get, if you decided to do so. The first one my sister had was a nightmare who managed to convince her that she was a Very Bad Mother for having a hard time with nursing. (The second one was great, and really helped, not least by telling her it was ok to have a hard time.)
I know you know what you're doing, this being your second time around and all, but give yourself a break and don't let anyone tell you (and do not tell yourself, missy) that you're a maternal failure if it doesn't come easy to the little guy.
Posted by: Ashley | October 14, 2007 at 11:21 AM
Oh ... ouch ... what's that pain I feel? Oh yes, the cuteness of the Fricklet is making my ovaries ache. The painful nursing stories give me a moment of pause, but then ... the baby feet, and all is good. Hope that it gets easier for you soon.
Posted by: Danielle | October 14, 2007 at 08:13 PM
those are some scrawny little legs on the fricklet! squeeze ths scrawny! squeeze squeeze! :)
Posted by: carolyn | October 15, 2007 at 05:58 AM
Beautiful boy, beautiful photos! I was super lucky with my boy that nursing went well, but I have helped enough friends with their trouble that I can certainly empathize. No fun at all. The mention of nursing an infant vs a toddler is a really good one. You've had some great advice. I hope it helps!
Posted by: Sarahfish | October 15, 2007 at 07:26 AM
Those wee legs are going from newborn "chicken legs" to chubby porkchops. Fricklet has such a wonderful round head! The cuteness is too much for me!
Posted by: Kim | October 15, 2007 at 08:14 AM
Love he socks, and he is so cute. I have 4 kids (there is a 14 year age gap between my 1st and 2nd, but i do remember breastfeeding each of them was completely different, some of them were much more painful than the others, probabaly because they had different sucking methods. I also found I did'nt have as much time to sit and relax while feeding the girls as I did with my sons as there was always a 3 year old to run after.Just remember it is not you, it is the children who are different from each other, as you will see their differnt personalities as they get older,you now see their different nursing methods. Hang in there, and get some rest.
Posted by: paula | October 15, 2007 at 09:07 AM
Oh, the baby feet all swaddled in baby socky and bootie goodness. Too stinkin' cute!
I like the idea of writing the page for the Biscuit's baby book.
Grandparents...a wonderful thing...
I wouldn't have thought that nursing would be difficult the second time around, but you are the 4th person I know who has mentioned this phenomenon. My first go round was murder...I can't imagine it being worse!
Posted by: nova | October 15, 2007 at 10:38 AM
so much to respond to. where to start?
grandparents--yes, they are a godsend. when my sister had her second, my mom was over at her house every day for at least two weeks. and she spent most of that time playing with my sister's 1st. i don't think she held #2 much, but #1 needed her more at the time so it was okay.
uncles--i'm so jealous of your group of "uncles." how lucky for both the biscuit and the fricklet to grow up with such a wonderful group of role models. i love them all.
breastfeeding--oh the early weeks of breastfeeding. in general, i felt really lucky when it came to breastfeeding. i had heard some horror stories and felt that in comparison, little man and i got off to a strong start. but despite my optimism, my nipples did not always feel the same way. lanisoh was used and needed on a very regular basis. i went to a breastfeeding support group (with a lactaction nurse there) on a regular basis, but i was still raw in places. in fact, i remember having odd feelings about asking for help. i don't know how to explain it. anyway, it wasn't pretty. i remember the latch-on cringe. but with time, they did heal and all was well. that time will come. hopefully sooner than later. and just remember, you're not bad at it. it just hurts at first as you both figure everything out. sending much love and comfort your way. enjoy your three wonderful boys!
Posted by: Haley | October 15, 2007 at 11:18 AM