The other day, the Fricklet and I ventured out to the grocery store (a post in and of itself...) and when we returned, Mr. Frick met me at the door with a nervous expression and said, "Okay, you're not going to like what you see in there."
Of course I pushed him aside (using the baby as a cow catcher of sorts) and burst into the living room. And I did not like what I saw in there.
See, a hugely pregnant summer at home with a non-napping three year old had broken down my Parenting Principles and I'd resorted to small acts of bribery. Namely: Dum-Dums. Dum-Dums, I maintain, are a perfect form of bribery because they're so small- just a tiny amount of sugar that could get the Biscuit to agree to sit in the grocery cart (oh, you would have laughed to see me trying to hoist all 42 pounds of him in there), endure a trip to the bank, or go quietly from the playground when Mommy had had enough. One day I opened the "hider" (Biscuit's word for the cabinet over the fridge, which also contains messy paints and extra Play-Doh) and found that there were no Dum-Dums left, so I sent Mr. Frick to get some more. And because it is Halloween season, there were only bags of 200 available. And because he is Mr. Frick, he thought it would be...well, I'm not sure what he thought it would be, or if he was thinking at all, but he gave the ENTIRE BAG to the Biscuit. And so that's what I found in the living room. The Biscuit, sitting on a pile of 200 Dum-Dums. And so the bribery jig is up.
But here's the funny thing that's revealed itself over the past couple of weeks. He doesn't really want to eat them. He dumps out the bag and looks at them. He puts them into other containers, like the salad spinner, his Legos box, and the baby swing. He sorts them by flavor and color. He opens the wrappers to look at the colors and then closes them up again. He asks you again and again which is your favorite flavor, and just when you think he's going to offer you one, he says, "I will save it for you for later" and returns it to the bag. He carries around little lollipop bouquets, reciting the flavors again and again. He even pretends to KNIT with them, as pictured above. Is the "S" word coming to mind? What can I say but, "That's my boy!"
I have a hoarder's heart. And this first month with the Fricklet has proven that in so many ways. My nighttime nursing chair is right beside the ELFA unit that holds most of my stash, and I find myself gazing at it in the wee hours, daydreaming about projects that I could use it for. And that, for now, is enough. Because my hoarder's heart also knows that every moment I have with this baby, even the agonizing ones, is one I will later pine for. Because the Fricklet is very likely our last baby, I have already changed my last newborn-sized diaper. I have snapped certain little already-outgrown suits on a tiny body for the last time. I have chosen my last name. I have had my last "first look" at the face of a person I made. And I know these "lasts" will just keep coming over the next few months.
Sometimes I catch myself saying, "I can't wait until..." Like I can't wait until the Fricklet truly smiles at the Biscuit. I can't wait until they're both sleeping through the night. I can't wait until I've really got this nursing thing down. And I really have to stop myself from wishing away this time. Because unlike yarn, these are not things you can buy or track down on Ebay. Once they're gone, they're gone.
...but I can't wait until I can get some more frickin' knitting done.
I catch myself wishing for things like that too. and then I tell myself, this wonderful time won't last forever (the clock is slowly ticking for me to go back to work), I should just enjoy sitting on the couch all day, milking and holding my babe. Who cares if the litter box needs to be changed......
Posted by: Allegra | November 05, 2007 at 10:53 AM
Here's a dum dum story you'll appreciate:
G and I are babysitting my sister's three kids for the weekend (YES - the ENTIRE weekend.) The 2 yr old is melting down something fierce and I'm doing all the right things - leaving him be to get it out of his system - making sure he can't hurt himself - blah blah blah.
My sister happens to call at just this moment and I tell her what's going on. Her response? "Did you give him a lollipop?"
What? I didn't know this was an acceptable option! Later that day we ran into one of my sister's friends at the playground. I told her the dum dum story and she laughed saying, "Yeah. I see that kid with a lot of lollipops!"
I think I'll start stashing them in bulk. Thanks for the heads up!
PS - Fricklet's looking a bit blonde there! Another one huh. ;-)
Posted by: Cara | November 05, 2007 at 10:55 AM
I imagine you'll be having both firsts and lasts for a good while yet. I'm glad you're taking the time to enjoy them! Oh, and that last picture is just beautiful.
Posted by: Stella | November 05, 2007 at 11:32 AM
Don't worry, it only gets better with time. My babies are growing up so fast, but each day they are more and more clever. You'll see.
One thing I do is take my boys aside on his birthday and tell him every last thing about the day he was born. He hears it each year and never get tired of it.
Just this morning I sang songs to them that I sang when they were babies and they laughed at me. I guess it's still ok at 8 and 10, maybe they won't like it at 15. :)
Posted by: Kate | November 05, 2007 at 11:32 AM
I love that when I click on the link for the definition of "stash" I'm urged to "Stash online. Shop Target-dot-com." Because that's the only store that's more dangerous to my bank balance than my LYS.
I'm stashing baby moments here, too. They're sweeter than candy corn.
Posted by: Ruth | November 05, 2007 at 11:33 AM
The biscuit is after my own heart - I love organizing and reorganizing things! Eat them, no way! Not have any left to play with? I see his lollipops are like your yarn stash, J!
Yes, you have it right. I always knew that I would have 4 kids so I don't think I quite appreciated all these moments as well as I should have. The last one and all his moments nearly did me in. I pined for another wee one to enjoy!
Posted by: tiennie | November 05, 2007 at 11:33 AM
that is the sweetest picture of the fricklet...
and the biscuit and his bouquet of dumdums?! LOVE IT!!! a boy after my own heart... ;)
ek.
Posted by: kimchi | November 05, 2007 at 11:41 AM
Honestly Julie, you write some of the most beautifully poignant posts. But I do wonder, did Mr. Frick not know about the actual purpose of the Dum Dums? Funny.
Posted by: nova | November 05, 2007 at 11:48 AM
my hubby would have done the same thing! We are just getting into the dum-dum phase here. I seriously bought them to give away this year knowing we would have leftovers and the little one would go ape-poop over them. *My one concern - the sticky factor - what is the best clean up strategy?
Posted by: Deana | November 05, 2007 at 12:03 PM
Smart lady, enjoy all those precious firsts.
Thanks for the reminder, too.
Posted by: Knittypants | November 05, 2007 at 12:07 PM
Just this morning I was sitting in quiet contemplation of the rainbow yarn cabinet (cleverly positioned so I can gaze at it from my pillow) and wondering how I could ever possibly knit any of it--because then I wouldn't _have_ it any more! Definitely, it's better off being saved for later.
Unlike a dum-dum, which is better off being eaten RIGHT NOW, particularly if it's pineapple or cream soda. You can bribe me with one of those any ol' day.
Posted by: Ashley | November 05, 2007 at 12:09 PM
That's such a cute story. Especially the lollipop bouquets, made me say, aww.
Posted by: Wanda | November 05, 2007 at 12:43 PM
From the look Fricklet's face, the thought in mind is, What in h3ll is Mom gonna do with all that yarn?
Posted by: kmkat | November 05, 2007 at 12:51 PM
You bring back memories of laying in the hospital, two newborn babies nestled close to me and begging them not to grow up too fast. But they do, and they did. You are wise to cherish each moment. There are many years ahead of waiting in the carpool line, or at a soccer game, or in a music lesson to get the knitting done.
I don't blame the Buscuit. I don't think I could resist all the allure of all of those flavors either. It really isn't the eating, it's the having. That is what hording is all about.
Posted by: Kirsten | November 05, 2007 at 01:01 PM
Friclet's finger on your chin is priceless.
Posted by: loriz | November 05, 2007 at 01:02 PM
Yes! Yes! Yes! This is the gift of the second child. You know (a little more) what you are doing, you are less stressed, you know everything is a phase and that soon enough, they will be too big to sleep in your arms. Enjoy it. Some day, you'll have plenty of time to knit.
That final photo is simply precious.
Posted by: Liz K. | November 05, 2007 at 01:20 PM
What a beautiful reminder - one that I can take to heart! With 8 weeks to go, I'm starting to yearn for the end of pregnancy and 'just can't wait' to start being a mom! But all of this will not be shiny and new next time - I would do well to stop and reflect on the joy and the miracle of this pregnancy... and enjoy the little time I have left! Thank you!
Posted by: reluctantmango | November 05, 2007 at 01:35 PM
What a wise mom ...
Posted by: Danielle | November 05, 2007 at 01:49 PM
What a poignant post. You are an inspiring writer. Who the hell cares if we see knitting again? Oh, yes, you would care. ;)
Posted by: Jen | November 05, 2007 at 04:09 PM
Perfect. All of it.
Posted by: SpiderWomanKnits | November 05, 2007 at 04:38 PM
Your humor and sentiment mesh perfectly. You often bring me to tears & make smile at the same time. It feels good to know that someone else gets all mushy & wrecked over the same things as me & that I am not alone (see: Heartbreaker).
btw: New to your blog & really enjoy your writing style.
Posted by: gonzomama | November 05, 2007 at 04:38 PM
Great things to be hoarding: colours, flavours and yarn --- and all the possibilities.
I love the photo of the your two hoards. Also the one of you and the Biscuit.
I have to tell you - because I subscribe to your blog, I first see the text without the pictures and I thought you were talking about pacifiers. My baby brother called his a Dum-dum. I had no clue there were lollipops called that.
I guess they serve the same purpose ultimately.
;-)
Posted by: Miss Scarlett | November 05, 2007 at 07:00 PM
Clever mummy... and I love that last photo.
Posted by: Nora | November 06, 2007 at 01:01 AM
Ah, your magic Dum Dums... that saved my child from a certain melt-down as well. He still says, "But Biscuit's mom gave me a butterscotch lolly pop when we were having a bad day."
Posted by: BethC | November 06, 2007 at 04:57 AM
You are so RIGHT! I wish I would have enjoyed those stages alot more. They are past now, my girls are 8 1/2 and 6 and I pine for those days.
BTW - I love the way your write your feelings of each moment. I truly feel touched each time I read your posts about your kids.
Posted by: lisa | November 06, 2007 at 06:39 AM