Four

Has it really been another year?

This growing up is hard, my dear.

When I picked you up from your first "big kid" day at school, you ran into my arms as usual, but not with your usual grin and exclamation of "Mama, I'm so happy to see you!"  Instead, you buried your head in my neck and clutched my shoulders and were silent.  And my heart just sank.  Because when I first walked in the classroom door I saw those two older boys behind the gym mat they'd turned into a fort.  Saw them shaking their heads at you, saying no, you can't come in.  And even though your back was to me, I could tell by the tilt of your head and the slump of your little shoulders that you were asking please, may I play.  (Because you always say "may" and not "can," just like me!)

I'm proud that I managed to keep my cool through the ride home and until Daddy showed up, but when Uncle Timmy called and I told him the story, I did cry.  It wasn't just the exclusion or the sadness in your hug, but also the sweetness of what you said as we got in the car, that "those boys didn't want me to come in today, but they will let me play tomorrow."  Once I managed to breathe through the tightness in my chest, I realized that that very attitude is the remedy to the problem.  You didn't cry, scream, or run away.  You chose instead to believe the better of your peers, and to look forward to another day.  As Daddy said when we talked later, it was me, the mama, who was wounded.

So happy birthday, little love.  My Nursery-schooler, my brave boy, my beauty.  May you always be so strong, so sweet, so optimisticly sunny of disposition.  I am so very proud of you.

More pictures and details of the Chevalier Mittens, perfect for fending off life's bullies, here on Ravelry.

Comments

[Bookish Wendy]

I had this same problem when Sophia first started at her "daycare". (My aunt's house - she has an in-home daycare). It was the worry that the other kids would be mean to her, or reject her, or hurt her that REALLY got to me. The other worries paled in comparison. So much of what we do is parent our inner child.

Do you read 'Ask Moxie'? I think you may like it...

[amanda]

Oh my! That is heart wrenching! I so feel for the pair of you.

[Cara]

I can barely handle feeding my daughter solids, let alone other kids and how they'll treat her.

Hugs to you! My mama heart is broken for yours!

[michelle]

I'm wounded, too.

[Stacey]

I imagine I will be the same way when I have children...only I won't be able to put it into words as well as you do :)

[Liz K.]

You've got it! Kids really do take these things in stride so much better than we, the moms, do. Hold on to your belief in his resilience and that wonderful attitude of his, and he'll believe it too.

[Bertha]

That's it. I am NEVER sending June to school. I don't think I could ever handle something like this, though I am glad Biscuit didn't seem too much worse for the wear.

[Ruth]

One of the biggest lessons I've learned through my children is that (to paraphrase that great philosopher, Scarlett O'Hara) tomorrow really is another day. It's amazing what 24 hours can cure, especially at that age. My children's wounds usually recover much faster than the ones I've taken on on their behalf.

Happy birthday to your beautiful boy. May he always be so wonderfully resilient.

[Carrie]

Happy birthday to your beautiful son! I think I need a little of his positive attitude!!

[earthchick]

Oh MY, what a post. I've got tears in my eyes now. I wish we could protect them from other people, ya know?

Happy Birthday to your Biscuit. From what I can tell so far, four is a *grand* age to be!

[lola]

Happy birthday! We've been dealing with a similar situation at Gus' school, so I understand.

[mamie]

that made my mama heart cry. i can handle my twins jostling each other, but when they do have to go out there... well, i hope i can hold back the tears when i have to. he sounds so very special, your 4 year old. happy birthday to him.

[reluctantmango]

I'm crying with you... but not because of the mean boys; rather because your little guy's response makes me believe that there is hope for the next generation. Happy Birthday, Biscuit!

[Ashley]

Hell, it even made the cold, black, shriveled lump of coal that passes for my non-mama heart hurt a little. Fucking bullies.

[maryse]

happy birthday little buddy!!!!

and he is a brave boy. i hope that tomorrow it will be better.

[rebecca]

love those Chevalier Mittens. what a gorgeous color, and lovely model, too!

[Jeanie]

:) Too sweet for words!

[carol]

Happy birthday and remember that he's correct. Those boys may let him play tomorrow. Kids are extremely fickle one day to the next. I've seen it first hand. Believe in the best and let the rest fall away.

[Tora]

You sound like such a sweet mom, and your son like a wonderful little big boy. Happy birthday!

[stinkerbell]

happy birthday little man... may you rock the fort tomorrow :)

[tiennie]

That kind of pain is heartwrenching! What a sweet sweet boy. Happy birthday!!!

Pretty mitts. :)

[Maritza]

You're a wonderful mama. Happy Birthday to your lil' Biscuit.!

[Kirsten]

Happy birthday sweet boy!!
Biscuit you sound like one classy guy!

[stacey]

Happy Birthday to that little sweetie. So full of hope - there is always tomorrow!:)

[Lynn in Tucson]

Oh, my. It ain't easy, is it? My little is in her first few weeks of first grade at a new school and it's...challenging. "If only she went someplace where she KNEW someone," said my husband last night. So, you know, only-child guilt on top of it!

The happiest of birthdays to both of you.